Appreciation post

If there is something I really want to remember about today, it's that despite all the sorrows that I have to face in life, especially now, I want to remember that there is a person that I called a blessing in my life. Despite everything, I thank Allah for lending me this man who gave me endless love and support. Someone who taught me how to love myself ever better than before.

                                               

The flowers he gave on my birthday night. He's so thoughtful to know that I love flowers and this guy always pampers me with flowers! I loveeee them and he chose really beautiful flowers. Really need to buy a number of  pretty glass vasts already!

I am eternally grateful that "that incident" happened on my birthday night, since that, I truly believed that he loved me whole-heartedly.  Not that I never believed before, but the percentage just increased more from the maximum, hahah. My love, my man, whom I feel most safe and happy with. My best-est friend who always made stupid jokes and created funny words, and one who knows exactly what to do whenever I am angry or sad. The gentleman who is always willing to do and go the extra mile for me whenever I need. This whole month, he gave me lessons to learn : (1) to always put my family first over everything (2) to be someone who is not indecisive and just do what I want to do confidently.

For that, my man, my forever "Goblin", I thank you for everything. And may Allah keep you and your family safe and happy always. Much much love, my kind man. <3

p/s: This post might sound cringey and all, but I don't care cos I need a place to remember this feeling. Xoxo!

Dear Goblin,

You came into my life like slow motion,
and not easily I let you in.
While you reacted as fast as meteor,
fast, attracted and confident.
But still, time beats everything,
meteor could fall in slow motion,
Like us happened beautifully.


You made me cry like rain,
but like a rain of blessings,
I feel so relieved.
Because you listened and care about me,
Being opened up wasn't me,
But your support and love made me speak,
and I'm flying free, being the best of myself.


You made me happier and colourful like rainbow,
Showered me with love unexpectedly,
and the bouquet of roses you gave me after a long tiring day,
made me fall for you again so dearly.
Because of the support you gave me sincerely,
to reach my dreams, to be the best of myself.


Time I spent with you shine,
the laughters you made me,
that only I knew how funny your jokes are,
and funnier are the inside jokes.


Time I spent with you shine,
The days we played winning teddy bear,
but did not make it,
and you still strived to find one for me,
because you want to see me happy.


Time I spent with you shine,
the bad days, the good days, both days,
You accompanied and cheered me up me when I'm down,
Celebrate me when I'm happy and success,
I'm happy I get to be with you.


Every day is like a whole beautiful life,
Every seconds I spent with you,
I treat like my last, everytime.
So I get to appreciate it,
not taking it for granted,
forever.


I'm attracted for you like the falling meteor towards gravity,
Beyond grateful for your existence,
And may everyday be our best day forever,
regardless the goods, the bads, and both of them.


Like my favourite scented candles,
I wish you're here everytime I blow them up.



Happy 10th of the month,
my Goblin.

Taraweehs I Love

(Pre-ps : I started this blogpost on Monday 3rd of June 2019, the last night of Ramadhan)

With warm heart, we greeted Ramadhan, and with heavy heart, we bid farewell to it.

I am literally doing that now, currently on my bed, enjoying this last beautiful night of Ramadhan, accompanied by yummy tomyam maggie cup and milk, also a perfect song to suit this blogpost - "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith.

Every year, the last night of Ramadhan had always get me all sentimental. I don't like goodbyes, but there's always a silver lightning behind every goodbyes. Alongside the sadness that it's leaving, I took these last few hours as an opportunity to keep enjoying Ramadhan as long as it's still here, and making the time left to spend, the moment that I treasure so much. By now, I'm keeping the night alive, and I don't plan to close my eyes tonight. I'm gonna miss it... a lot. How I wish Ramadhan could extend to a month some more.

Somehow, don't you think that that apply to our life as well? When someone/something is leaving us, or we're the one who's gonna leave, instead of keep on thinking about it's leaving, why don't we embrace every seconds left and making the time last spent as the most meaningful ever? Hence, this blogpost that I would like to dedicate for this special moment.

Throwback to the first week of Ramadhan, I still remember thinking I was someone who used to feel like Ramadhan is another month of tiredness, migraines and tiring taraweeh prayers. As I grow older, I slowly started to recognise the sweetness of Ramadhan. I enjoyed taraweeh more than I ever had. While praying taraweeh during the first week, I did not feel tired at all, then I saw a little girl who counted the rakaah with her mother, who got me thinking that I was like that too, counting one rakaah after another, impatient for the very last rakaah. Hehehe. What I felt now at my age was I did not want the prayers to end (accept for some days when I felt super exhausted like no other hahaha), because I enjoyed the calmness in the prayers, putting aside all the worldly matters away, and the best part was I feel sooo loved by Allah despite the mountains of sins I've done. The moment where I started to enjoy taraweeh so much that I thought, "Ramadhan, please don't leave." The feeling that I yearn for, forever and more. 

Reminiscing this Ramadhan, I admit that I have been imperfect. But to be fair to myself, my goal Ramadhan this time is for me to focus on my internal happiness. I wanted to do what I feel is best and comfortable to me. But an Ustaz's tazkirah had hit me most once he told that what I remembered most was the most important part of our ibadahs are the blessings from Allah behind them. Don't mind the number of ibadahs you did, what matters is, is the ibadah blessed and accepted by Allah? Like people say, Quality is better than Quantity. However, I am certain that no matter what, we still need to seek to perform as much ibadahs as we can, put efforts but emphasized the sincerity and purpose of our ibadahs. Allah is the Judge, and He Sees. But as a servant, we should always pray to Allah that He accepts and bless our ibadahs. 

This "blessings" topic make me relate to another tazkirah I listened to on a different day after taraweeh prayers. He mentioned about the duas that Jibrael angel (malaikat) recited and that Muhammad Prophet s.a.w. ameen to them. We do know that if Prophet Muhammad ameen to the duas, they sure are being fulfilled by Allah, right? There were three duas, one of the duas that I most remembered was if we come to Ramadhan in sins, and leave Ramadhan in sins (because Allah does not forgive us, most probably because we do not ask for forgiveness, too enjoy in worldly matters despite the beautiful month, or do bad things in Ramadhan), our life is not blessed by Allah. The key about Allah's blessings is it helps us in our life, to ease our daily routines, health, money, family, kids, partner, and many more. I am so nervous listening to this, thinking how little had I done in this month.

So, let's pray that may Allah forgive us and accepts all our ibadahs, including the little kindness & deeds that we did. Not to forget to continue the good things that we taught to do and practiced in Ramadhan to non-Ramadhan months too. Also, bear in mind that, Ramadhan leaves, but not Allah. He is always here with us. Despite the special month is gone, it will come again soon. But Allah, will always be here. But let's also pray pray PRAY that we get to meet Ramadhan again next year. May we also be better everyday, in the eyes of Allah, and may Allah bless us all always. Ameen ameen ya rabbal alamin. Love always. :)