(Pre-ps : I started this blogpost on Monday 3rd of June 2019, the last night of Ramadhan)
With warm heart, we greeted Ramadhan, and with heavy heart, we bid farewell to it.
I am literally doing that now, currently on my bed, enjoying this last beautiful night of Ramadhan, accompanied by yummy tomyam maggie cup and milk, also a perfect song to suit this blogpost - "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith.
Every year, the last night of Ramadhan had always get me all sentimental. I don't like goodbyes, but there's always a silver lightning behind every goodbyes. Alongside the sadness that it's leaving, I took these last few hours as an opportunity to keep enjoying Ramadhan as long as it's still here, and making the time left to spend, the moment that I treasure so much. By now, I'm keeping the night alive, and I don't plan to close my eyes tonight. I'm gonna miss it... a lot. How I wish Ramadhan could extend to a month some more.
Somehow, don't you think that that apply to our life as well? When someone/something is leaving us, or we're the one who's gonna leave, instead of keep on thinking about it's leaving, why don't we embrace every seconds left and making the time last spent as the most meaningful ever? Hence, this blogpost that I would like to dedicate for this special moment.
Throwback to the first week of Ramadhan, I still remember thinking I was someone who used to feel like Ramadhan is another month of tiredness, migraines and tiring taraweeh prayers. As I grow older, I slowly started to recognise the sweetness of Ramadhan. I enjoyed taraweeh more than I ever had. While praying taraweeh during the first week, I did not feel tired at all, then I saw a little girl who counted the rakaah with her mother, who got me thinking that I was like that too, counting one rakaah after another, impatient for the very last rakaah. Hehehe. What I felt now at my age was I did not want the prayers to end (accept for some days when I felt super exhausted like no other hahaha), because I enjoyed the calmness in the prayers, putting aside all the worldly matters away, and the best part was I feel sooo loved by Allah despite the mountains of sins I've done. The moment where I started to enjoy taraweeh so much that I thought, "Ramadhan, please don't leave." The feeling that I yearn for, forever and more.
Reminiscing this Ramadhan, I admit that I have been imperfect. But to be fair to myself, my goal Ramadhan this time is for me to focus on my internal happiness. I wanted to do what I feel is best and comfortable to me. But an Ustaz's tazkirah had hit me most once he told that what I remembered most was the most important part of our ibadahs are the blessings from Allah behind them. Don't mind the number of ibadahs you did, what matters is, is the ibadah blessed and accepted by Allah? Like people say, Quality is better than Quantity. However, I am certain that no matter what, we still need to seek to perform as much ibadahs as we can, put efforts but emphasized the sincerity and purpose of our ibadahs. Allah is the Judge, and He Sees. But as a servant, we should always pray to Allah that He accepts and bless our ibadahs.
This "blessings" topic make me relate to another tazkirah I listened to on a different day after taraweeh prayers. He mentioned about the duas that Jibrael angel (malaikat) recited and that Muhammad Prophet s.a.w. ameen to them. We do know that if Prophet Muhammad ameen to the duas, they sure are being fulfilled by Allah, right? There were three duas, one of the duas that I most remembered was if we come to Ramadhan in sins, and leave Ramadhan in sins (because Allah does not forgive us, most probably because we do not ask for forgiveness, too enjoy in worldly matters despite the beautiful month, or do bad things in Ramadhan), our life is not blessed by Allah. The key about Allah's blessings is it helps us in our life, to ease our daily routines, health, money, family, kids, partner, and many more. I am so nervous listening to this, thinking how little had I done in this month.
So, let's pray that may Allah forgive us and accepts all our ibadahs, including the little kindness & deeds that we did. Not to forget to continue the good things that we taught to do and practiced in Ramadhan to non-Ramadhan months too. Also, bear in mind that, Ramadhan leaves, but not Allah. He is always here with us. Despite the special month is gone, it will come again soon. But Allah, will always be here. But let's also pray pray PRAY that we get to meet Ramadhan again next year. May we also be better everyday, in the eyes of Allah, and may Allah bless us all always. Ameen ameen ya rabbal alamin. Love always. :)
