The blooming Peonies

I’ve been away for too long but let’s not talk on that with same excuse all over again. Missing my blog very very much after a long holidayyy. Bali has been wonderful mashaaAllah, will post about it by this week where I can spend more energetic and quality time in campus to use the wifi. I myself can’t wait to start the entry, will cry reminiscing the best moments with my family there.

By the way, remember the #start2016withduck contest I participated and being chosen as one of the top 10 winner? The prize was the latest limited edition printed duckscarves and dannngg it’s beautiful! So here a few photos of me and the prize I got from them :) 

IT’S THE BLOOMING DUCK! 

D illustrated the design after the flower Peonies reminiscing the moment she met her bestfriend Hannah for the very first time. I feel more than lucky and blessed to have this for myself frrreeeee. With the goal to save more this year, a 220MYR scarf is quite killing hehehe. But Alhamdulillah it’s the best gift of the year. Worth the effort! Well, my favourite white-curvy-framed mirror broke, but this beautiful scarf paid the sweat and tears. 

After the friendship theme D created this scarf, my very angel girlfriend also bought the same one scarf, a yellow shade instead of pink like mine. I will definitely have to kidnap her one day and force her to take picture with me in our same-but-different-colour scarf (hahaha sorry Man). Will blog about itttt. Well that will be full entry of how we met, friendship rain and sunny days etc…. *ouhh missing those moments of taking hail of pictures together last 4 years at school*

Hope every friendship in this world stay together, regardless distance! Although how far my friends are, still can't stop missing them. There's always a thing or two happen everyday in my life that remind me of them. Stay safe wherever you are lovelies! *Thanks to social media for helping in long distance friendship, can see their updates everyday* 

Queen and King

Happy 2016, everyone! This very first post of 2016 I would like to dedicate it to the very love of my life ; my parents (my Queen and King).

I have just recovered from my (monthly) migraine and this one I had was the worst I ever had. Usually if my head gets into migrain trouble again, I would either drink more water, 100plus or just sleep more. But this time, everything that I did went into nowhere. I have never felt like throwing up, unless this time. Unlike the usual situations I had when migraine, I will put my head in a position where it will feel better again, but it doesn't work this time. Not at all. To be very honest, I was like dying. "Why it feels so paaaaiiiinnnnn? yaAllah help meeee." I teared the whole evening just now.

But then Ibu (my mother) came to my room and gave me her usual capsule she took whenever she got migraine. I slept for 15 minutes, and like a loss of tonnes of burden, all the pain went awaaay. I felt happy eventhough still feeling very weak, but I feel thankful at least I can still get up, pray and feel alive again. I am supposed to rest already now, but I'd really like to write about today. Some self-reflections while I was recovering from the pain just now.

At this young age of mine, Shaytans are so so so bad that they make me easily feel irritated, and the worst part is, feeling irritated to my own parents. Know what, parents are the most undeserving persons to get hurt because of my own stupid irritating emotions. I am sooo learning to control my feelings everytime I am with them to never let my emotions go over my love for them. They might be able to be patience and put up with me, but I feel sooo bad because they DO NOT deserve any pain, disappointment, sadness, everything that does not make they feel okay. Especially when it's something related to their children.

So, this all came up in my mind by reason of little things happened today.

My parents and I were on way back to JB from Cyberjaya. I didn't really feel well since before we started the journey so early in the morning. I didn't get to have breakfast, slept so late last night, I knew earlier migraine is 'on its way' attacking my head again. But nevermind, I told Ibu in the elevator when we were heading to car, "Ibuuuu, I'm hungry, please make something soupy for lunch today, teringin!" Ibu happily responsed to me saying "Okay!" of course. As I didn't feel so well, I didn't want to sit at the passenger seat next to my Dad who's driving, but then I was the one who had to sit there, and I was annoyed and irritated just because I could not feel comfortable as always (bad me, I know :( )

But then, parents being parents, always so so thoughtful. Ayah (my Dad) offered me to go buy breakfast (cos I'm hungry! And haven't had my coffee yet) at our next stop in Seremban (despite my irritating face, I think). And Ibu being Ibu, just right after I got out from car, she took my arm and excitedly said, "Balik ni Ibu buatkan Rah mihun bodo eh hehe (a very simple but so nice mihun actually)." Awhh Ibu so so cute, I felt baddd cos all the way from Cyber to Seremban, I was all annoyed cos I was the one who had to sit at the front passenger seat, annoyed at my mother cos usually she's the one who sits there. But little did I know that all the way from Cyber to Seremban just now she was thinking of what soup should she make for me since I asked from her in the elevator. Then she offered me doughnuts when we were at the Petronas convenience store when she saw Dunkin Donuts booth in it... So excited to buy breakfast for me. She bought me two Milo(s), cos the one I took from house in Cyber had no straw attached... How kind Ibu was.. Always so so caring, even the little things she does that I usually hardly notice and appreciate..

Ayah was also all the way so nice to me, yes, despite my badmood face (I know I wasn't supposed to act that way tskkkk) I thought he would annoy at me but he did not and was okay. He even kissed me goodbye before he left for work when we reached JB already and I was having a nap on bed cos was toooo tireddd. Honestly I thought my parents would get annoyed at me for my badmood face, but they didn't and even do littlest amazing things today, to take care of me, to make me feel better.

When I woke up from my long 2 hours nap right after we reached home in JB, I thought my mother hadn't prepared the 'mihun sup bodo' yet, I felt so bad because I couldn't teman her, went to nap insteaddd (urgghh but that was bcos I felt so sleepy and almost migrained). But then I checked in the kitchen, the 'mihun sup bodo' was deliciously prepared, with eggs, spinach some more, and cut chillies with keychup. All prepared as I wished from her in the elevator this morning!! I know it's really a little thing and a mother's responsibility is to feed her children, but thinking that I'm a grown up already, she still loves and cares for me as if I am still her 7-year-old princess. Not asking me to cook it by myself. Still remember when I was in kindergarten, Standard 1, Ibu taught me maths when I asked her while she's cooking! She then took me up in her arms and showed me her cooking on the stove when I finally knew how to do the maths hehe. That's Ibu, and Ayah of course, all they do for their life is devoting their life to us. :'( YaAllah.. I am so sorry for my bad thoughts just this morning..

It's more that I wanted to tell actually, this is not enough to elaborate everything in a story. But the energy I have nowww... asking me to sleep already...

But what happened today (and everyday actually), I thought, "How could I ever love someone more than I loved my parents before?" "How could I have another love relationship but my love to parents should already more than enough?" They devote everything they have for the sake of their children's happiness. No wonder Allah s.w.t. places His redha after our parents' redha. I never know what true love is until I wish to become the best daughter I could be to my parents so that anything that I pray for them would be granted by Allah s.w.t. especially for their happiness and place in Jannah with Allah s.w.t..

Then I thought again, no wonder I have always resented with failed haraam relationships with men I had before, because love is not put at the right place. When you wish to love your parents more, Allah will grant you more love than is expected for you to give them to your parents.

If it's best written by Allah s.w.t that I am not meant to get married (because my partner might already waiting in Jannah? hehe) in this dunya, I do not mind spending the rest of my life devoting my life, my all to both of my parents. I love them so much, I do not want them to be unhappy, especially if the reason is because of my stupid bad temper. My parents' happiness are my goal, I always always want them to have the best life in dunya and especially, in hereafter. yaAllah, I hope You take care of our parents alwayssss. Please please make them the happiest persons sitting next to You in Jannah. <3

To Eisya

Hi Eisyaaaaa! I promise that this post is not going to make you cry (at least not anything related to sadness hehe). I have to admit that I'm not good at words AT ALL, but just know that this post is specially dedicated to you, my darling friend.

You are so dear to me. The one who makes me feel like I'm not single hahaha. Very often when people in a relationship, daily life is filled with lovely text messages asking how you are doing, what is your plan this weekend, etc. And also, even the one who will be one of the firsts to like/comment on your twitter or instagram post hehe. So, Eisya is one of them among my lovely dovey best girlfriends.

Ultimately, those don't have to be the reasons for me to love you as my very good friend and hence this post. Somehow this is something I have been longing to do to my very darling friend to let you know how significant little things you ever did to me has made my life so so so overwhelmed with love. Honestly, I'm not a good or caring friend, I don't call or text my bestfriends very often (I am actually very disappointed with myself for this, hence I have this one special resolution for 2016). That is why I deeply appreciate friends who always text me asking how I am doing, talking little silly things, tagging me on posts instagram/facebook/twitter, cos I know how those little things actually take a lot of effort. And nahhh, not that I do not appreciate those who don't text me often, cos I know they still remember me so much, right guysss? Hehehe. We just can't make time for each other, just like meeee, I don't know why I have always been too tired to actually start conversation through texts. But hey, I love and remember my friends in my du'a always. I am so sorry I can hardly find time for you guys and even for you Eisya sweetie, but just know how honoured I am to have friend like you.


You are also the first one to comment on my very first entry on this blog, and also probably one of my loyal readers, are you Eisya? Hahaha I know you are :P You comforted me during the bad times, the one who still responses to my texts although I usually reply so so late (awak dengan Aimanani sama je haha). Still remember my study week?  I thought I had the worst study week ever cos I just moved to new house, which was totally an exhausting one, the worst situation for me to study, I felt so so so bad, but.... you were there, wishing me luck for my finals and studies, giving me one of the reasons to stay courageous.


So, this coming January is your turn to have your finals and you are now in study week, honey (actually, Eisya's Dad just passed away yesterday, Al-Fatihah). When I thought I had the toughest study week ever, Allah is indeed showing me the reality that someone is actually facing tougher days more than I thought I had, and like a wake up call,  it's you the 'someone' is, the one who is always there for the ones she loves.


You shall have received a lot of messages from friends of course, including a long message from me, that those might not even tell either it will make you feel better. I am so glad if you are already redha for everything, you might not be sad anymore, or maybe still sad, or you just feel nothing (I am so sorry I couldn't be there, dear), but this post is specially written to honor you as a friend who is always there, and that I wish you to always have courage like how you asked me to before my finals, for you to ace the study week, to be strong like how you told me just that day. Know whattt Eisya, you can dooo ittt Eisya. If you need to cry, just cry, Allah might want you to cry and seek for Him. Sometimes we need to cry too, to see the world in a clearer 'view', okay? And after that everything will be very prettier and more wonderful than you ever expecteddd hehe.

 And Eisya....

.....I miss the smile! Wish to see it again (Sorry curi gambar awak dekat instagram ehehee) !! Can't waitttt to see you this 2016 (Ahhhh, dah lebih setahun plan nak jumpa kahkah, tak jumpa jumpa jugak Eisyaaa haihhh tup2 nanti Eisya dah kahwin  T__T).


 Last but not least, just tell me if you need me or other friends who will be always, always, always be there for you too. We love you, honey. Have courage, and be kind!! (Quote from Cinderella movie hikhik).


Take care Eisya. Al-Fatihah to Eisya's Dad. He is indeed one step closer to meeting Allah... Haihh, O' Allah, we miss you so much, please do take care of Eisya's Dad and place him among the righteous ones. We all can't wait to meet you too, Dear Allah. May Allah forgive all the sins of the ones reading this, and of eeeeevery Muslims in the world and please guide all of us (who haven't died yet) to the right path always. Let's always be prepared for our turn to go back to our home, Jannah, the place we have left too long already. Remember that Allah is right there waiting for us, and He always wants to meet us too, hence those tests He gave to us to guide us to path leading to Him. And that day will be us meeting Allah..our truest Love! Amin, InshaaAllah. Together in Jannah okay? (:  (hugs and kisses)