Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Hello, from Malaysia

I'm not that busy now YET, so you'd probably see my face more often here on blog. But totally not on instagram. Currently no nice photos for my ig feed. Soon soonnn! 

Or maybe I'm just here cos I came across something to talk about and it would be merely a short one.

And I came to...this.

 This takes me back to a moment I'd rather keep it myself but feel more opens up to share it here now. Could be something (to learn?) to share with you guys.

So...Say "hi" first? For me, I'm a moderate introvert and I don't really talk to people unless they are fellas I trust and feel comfortable to be with (and, someone I need to work with). And Imma girl, Muslim girl some more. If it's to start a conversation with my own species, I'd be more than happy to do that. But...to even say "hi" to a guy? Gross. I'm not sure if I'd ever do that even if you offer me $10Million.

Here's a story while I still remember it. Being in a International campus here, I knew quite a lot of people differ than me in race, religion, culture and language. I like it so so much. Despite the fact that I am the only Malay among my classmates and I never feel odd with them (I love and care about them so much hehee). This surrounding actually nourishes me and makes me grow as a person and as a Muslim most importantly in a way I never expected and alhamdulillah Allah always be there for me though sometimes I feel insecure to be the only Muslim.

We also have exchange and transfer programmes among campuses at Heriot Watt. Students from  Edinburgh and Dubai can come here, Malaysian students can also go there. Last year, students from
 Edinburgh came here for exchange programme, and some of them of course Mat Salleh. They came  from various countries and some of them are Norwegian. I likeee Norwegians  so much, I find them not like other typical Mat Salleh, they are nicer and more friendly. For me, they are like Japanese  in Mat Salleh version. I hope this compliment is not too overrated for some poeple haha. Anddd by the way their country is also beaaaaautiful. One of my bucket list to travel tooo. I've learnt their language a bit and so far, twas good!

Okay, actually there's this person I adore since the first time I saw his smile (ok, sentimental session guys? haha). And he's a Norwegian. I was one of the photographers for the orientation programme, that's where I got to know them closer (omg I hope they don't read my blog). Cos they are not even my classmates, so, how do I talk to them? Like it'd be so weird to suddenly approach them unless you're their classmate so you all can hang out together etc...

To make it short, I saw him a few times at campus and most of the time, he's just alone. Looking so smart with his casual white t-shirt, shorts and cool sunglasses. I never think I should approach him, just looked at him at a glance and done. He's always so friendly to the Makcik & Pakcik at our bakery cafe here, with his smile, and the way he looks and responds to his surroundings, very politely and quite adorable too. He's sooo unlike typical majority Malaysians I know here. I bet he should be a nice guy. There was once I had lunch at the same place, at the same time and he's also there. We were both sitting alone. My mind wandered around and mumbled,

"He's 22, but looks even more matured than me. I'm 20 and too small to talk to him -__-. I shouldn't say "hi" or anything. But he looks friendly and warm enough to be approached by Malaysians. Why would he come to Malaysia if he's not interested to know Malaysians? Is he actually okay if I go approach him? Omg isn't that weird? Or is it only a Malaysian' thinking?"

 Gossshh no no I won't say anything to him. But know whatttt, I even thought of passing by in front of him and pretend like my coffee cup dropped in front of him or something, just so that I could  at least say, "Oh God, sorry! Did it spill on you?" And he would have a reason to response to me then we could begin a conversation, right? Kahkah, what the heck, in my dream can lah!

I also once saw him across the 365 Room, he's sitting on the couch with his Macbook, eating maggie cup! I didn't see what flavour. Probably curry or chicken flavour. I thought again "Omg should I go talk to him? So kesian he's alone there. Oh not now, he's probably under his me-time." There were also Malaysians group in the room that time, must be so embarassing if he refused to talk to me back. Hahaha :(   So I just proceeded with my own work.

Again, on another day, I bumped into him in elevator, he's with his friend, three of us were going up. I was going to 1st floor while they're going to 2nd floor. When the elevator stopped at 1st floor, he's suddenly walking out of the elevator but he shouldn't cos he's going to 2nd floor righttt (Okay guys get ready, this was the first time I talked to him!!!!). Before he left the elevator, I looked into his blue eyes (lol!) and told him, "Urm, this is 1st floor." and he said, "Ohh.."  I actually wasn't really aware what he's said to me back hahaha *so in the air already*. Then I walked out from the elevator, leaving him, cos that's where I was supposed to be, 1st floor. Without turning back or saying "bye bye", I just walked away :/ Hahahaha, not that I was supposed to say anything right?!

Unfortunately, that's the end guys. Guess what, that was the last time I saw him.  I'm not sure whether he's in the exchange programme which lasts only 4 months or the transfer programme which lasts for a year. But the other two Norwegians took the exchange programme and I concluded that 3 of them would prolly took the similar programme. Basically, he's not here anymore now. I once read an article about him, written by our Journalist here in Heriot Watt, as he represented one of the exchange student here, the last sentence of the article says that "He's a warm and big hearted guy who's excited to know more about Malaysia and being friends with Malaysian." I was like, "Okay....." I knewww  it that he's big-hearted enough to be friends with, but how can a small-hearted me start being friends with him after all...Bye bye, stranger. Oh no, I knew his name, just to let you know, it starts with 'S'. 

All in all, back to the topic, if you want to talk to someone, talk to them, go ahead. DO NOT wait for them to talk to you first, it'd never happen until you start it yourself, okay? Especially if you're a guy, that would not be as odd as if you were a girl, like me.

 I don't know, if I tried to talk to him, probably both of us could talk on FB or skype now?! Or maybe we could meet somewhere in the Europe? Or maybe he's taken so we shouldn't talk to each other at all =__=" So many possibilities guys, thing is, I didn't try at all. Zero consequences. ZERO. 

But still, I'm grateful I didn't do it. Just not the right time yet. Allah hadn't opened my heart yet an I'm happy with my decision. Probably when it's the right time I should start saying "Hi" or to be said "Hi" to, if Allah wills it, I'll surely savor the moment! 

Say "hi" and smile! It costs nothing to be nice though ;)

Monday, 18 January 2016

Movies in a row

Last year, the number of times I went to cinema was like 1,2,3.... less than 3 times I think. I have even wasted free GSC voucher tickets which we got quite a lot cos they were given for free everytime we ate at Pappa Rich at these certain times. Free things got burnt just. like. that. But why bother? Movies out that time were not as attractive as movies currently on show now.... They got me like... :-O

After two weeks, it's unexpected that 2016 would be a little bit EXTRAordinary transformed year oh my God my sister and I just went to TGV Cinemas for 3 times in 3 days (in a week). It's probably normal for some people, but not really normal for my family and me. I didn't know why we're all always too busy to go out for a movie. Sometimes we all just roll at home or go out for food hunting.

So 3 times watching movies this week includes Langit Cinta, The 5th Wave and.... Dilwale! 

Langit Cinta was not bad, Fazura's acting was amazing, her tears and smile, just really authentic. The heartbreaking scenes made it straight to my heart. Despite that, tears was still under control of my eyes.

The 5th Wave also cool, I recommend you to watch it, especially if you are a thriller lover. But I think there's not much of thrilling scenes in the movie. I just love movies pertaining Earth, natural disaster, or any world phenomena like zombies-related, virus etc. Those are things beyond my imagination and I like it that way hehe.

And, Dilwale. Well, for me, the movie is magnificient. I teared at almost every scene. Prior to watching the movie itself, I couldn't stop listening to the soundtracks over and over again. My top favourites are Janam and Gerua. 

Some people might say Dilwale is not good enough. But it's totally opposite for me. I don't know why but I love how every scene just happens, together with the beautiful song plays along the scene makes me even more tearful.  The scene (romantic scenes especially) like when Kaali meets Meera for the first time, second time and then when they meet again in the future, the throwback scenes, and whenever they play every scene with Janam song, gossh! I tell you, it was greattttttt. I still remember how I felt the first time I watched the movie. As I wasn't really aware what the movie was about, so I find it more interesting to watch and enjoy getting shocked, laughed, and cried watching it !

I watched it only 2 times though. Companied my sister the second time. I really wanted to watch it again, but nah! Will just buy the DVD and watch it over and over and over and over again. Until I get enough of it.

And by the way, I watched Bajrangi Bhaijaan as well, online, with my sister. Cried a river as well, especially at the ending. This movie is wayyyyy amazing too. I adore Hindustan movies cos the quality is just double thumbs up! Though I heard people comparing Dilwale and Bajrangi Bhaijaan, I was like WHY? These two movies have a totally different plot despite the not so similar genre. Both movies are adorable and I salute Hindustan movies directors! More movies to Malaysia please!

Friday, 15 January 2016

"Mamak" moment

Too tempted to post an entry so I'm doing this through my phone cos ok same excuse, but seriously my house has no wifi yet!! Never mind but these few days have been quite memorable as my sister been following me to campus cos both of us strongly need a strong wifi connection.

It's cool cos yeah I have always wanted my sis to follow everywhere I go so now she has no excuses. When I go to classes, she'll be at Student Common Room 1 and utilises the wifi as possible. Like today after I've done with my community service class we both watched Hindustan movie half way and gonna continue the other half of the movie tomorrow! Yes we are coming back to campus on weekend! Haha who cares, everyone needs wifi!

Anddd we even love Mamak restaurant at my campus here. Actually we both love Mamak everywhere BUT as long as they provide super nice maggie curry and nescafe tarik (and not to forget roti canai)! Gosssshhhh the taste are so on point! Some people might say, "They put their taik hidung inside your food, memanglah sedap." or, "Peluh dah tercampur dalam tu sekali." Aaarhh nahh, those are myths! As long as I feel the Mamak can be trusted, then I'm definitely okay. There are actually some Mamaks that I can hardly trust and will never return to their place again. Kudos to Mamak for making nice maggie curry otherwise I can hardly show my face there (but actually they have nice nasi kandar too hmmm nomnom). Ok, many more reasons to like Mamak.

So here's pictures for today :


How. Can. I. Say. No. To .These. ?

And actually we came here and ate the same thing two days ago (Hm, healthy people surely shake their heads knowing our "diet" this week). Hee. Well, my sistahhh is the best food partner ever. We workout together too okay!

Hmm, soooo, Mamak's maggie curry and nescafe tarik?

Best. Week. Ever.
And we also watched a number of movies this week (Semester 4 what?) More on that soon!

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Semester 4

Is it just me or everyone is still on holiday? Or maybe yall just started holiday? Pleasingly, it's a brand new semester for 2016! I do have goals, especially to a kick start as it's only week 1 now. Nonetheless, week 1 is not anymore so called "still early" to begin steps to your goals.

Last semester, I still remember how I wished I could turn back time to week 1. So many things to do! So many things I don't understand yet! Until I got fever during exam and everything.... I thought, "I should have went to gym since week 1" , "I should have practiced healthy eating habit since week 1", "I should have revised since the first day of lecture", and many more "I should have(s)"...

Regrets? No point.

And yes, it's a guideline for me to alter myself starting from NOW. It's week 1, and it's still here. Shouldn't do and feel unnecessary stuff anymore, but not to forget - enjoy this life but put Allah first always! 

Tadaaa! This is my duckplanner and I do draw stuff nonsense inside. Errrmm yeaahh only one page for now and haven't coloured yet. I should be bored more so I could draw nonsense more. Should bring this duckplanner to class. Hee :P

Saturday, 9 January 2016

Sweet start 2016!

Unexpected start of 2016.  

I never thought this would happen.

Like a dream. 

Well, a very very very magical moment just happened in my life cause.... I have finally #madeitinlife by winning as one of top 10 for #start2016withduck contest! Yeaaayyyy! (Though I'm a lazy S to be on blog right now but this one must be blogged!). I love dUCk so much, it's not just a brand for me, it has a special space in my heart where I use their products (i.e scarves and stationeries) with lots of love. Additionally, duck changes my life in a way that I really really like it. I don't know how they do it, their quality, service, marketing and everything aaahh so brilliant this dUCk owner. Thank you so much for existing! (If any of you have no idea what duck is yet, here is their instagram : @theduckgroup)

So I put all my heart for this one contest. I didn't win the first time I entered for #duckflatlay Contest. The competition was tough! Mannnn I didn't really understand what 'flatlay' really means that time so I just tried my best and I loveeed the picture so much still! 

This was the one I posted for the #duckflatlay Contest but didn't win T_T. We were asked to take a flatlay with duckscarves in it :

(I took this picture from Instagram hahaha I just cropped it. Didn't notice the tag, sorry!)

But, so nice right? Haha :P
Not look like flatlay enough yet.

So this time, for #start2016withduck Contest, we were asked to take a picture (it can be selfie/flatlay etc) of the inside of the duck planner 2016. I posted a few entries and D picked this one :

I am happier with this one! I almost fainted right after doing this flatlay. Guess I took how many hours? T_T Flatlaying never been easyyy but I tell you, it's so therapeutic cos I LOVE doing it! Oh by the way, I found my picture quite unique cos it's like a flight of flatlay, not merely a FLAT flatlay, isn't it? Haha, uhm, never mind.

Next! Thisssss picture, the one I love so much, cos it's posted by D itself on their instagram specifically for duck stationeries (@duckstationery) when announcing the top 10 winners!

Thereee my picture on the centre thereee! Wuhuuu can't stop looking at this. So blessed! You know, after all the hardworks... and yeah forgot to tell ya that actually the white framed mirror I used has actually broken, cos it fell when I have already finished using it, because I was too exhausted to tidy things up back. Ah-ah. Serve me right (Lesson learned : Jangan bertangguh)

Then, I emailed D as asked for mailing address for the prize, andd.... the sweet reply I got! This girl who replied my email is being too sweet, I need to frame this email. Believe me, she just made my whole 2016!!!!

I never thought my entries would be noticed hahaha. I only posted a few though, and there were daymmnnn many more super awesome pretty entries other than mine. But yeah when she says... "It was a pretty tough decision to come to, but through it all, your entries always shone through!" Omg really *emoji with pair of heart shape in eyes* I don't know but thankssss.... *faint* and she called me "Dearest Nadzirah". Hmmmm *same emoji again*. I have never received a sweet email like that before. You really know how to win customer's hearts, huh? Hehe.

It's a remarkable start of 2016! I actually just started using duck exactly a year ago btw! It was January 2015. Happy birthday to dUCkie me! Can't wait to get the prize wuhuuu.

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Queen and King

Happy 2016, everyone! This very first post of 2016 I would like to dedicate it to the very love of my life ; my parents (my Queen and King).

I have just recovered from my (monthly) migraine and this one I had was the worst I ever had. Usually if my head gets into migrain trouble again, I would either drink more water, 100plus or just sleep more. But this time, everything that I did went into nowhere. I have never felt like throwing up, unless this time. Unlike the usual situations I had when migraine, I will put my head in a position where it will feel better again, but it doesn't work this time. Not at all. To be very honest, I was like dying. "Why it feels so paaaaiiiinnnnn? yaAllah help meeee." I teared the whole evening just now.

But then Ibu (my mother) came to my room and gave me her usual capsule she took whenever she got migraine. I slept for 15 minutes, and like a loss of tonnes of burden, all the pain went awaaay. I felt happy eventhough still feeling very weak, but I feel thankful at least I can still get up, pray and feel alive again. I am supposed to rest already now, but I'd really like to write about today. Some self-reflections while I was recovering from the pain just now.

At this young age of mine, Shaytans are so so so bad that they make me easily feel irritated, and the worst part is, feeling irritated to my own parents. Know what, parents are the most undeserving persons to get hurt because of my own stupid irritating emotions. I am sooo learning to control my feelings everytime I am with them to never let my emotions go over my love for them. They might be able to be patience and put up with me, but I feel sooo bad because they DO NOT deserve any pain, disappointment, sadness, everything that does not make they feel okay. Especially when it's something related to their children.

So, this all came up in my mind by reason of little things happened today.

My parents and I were on way back to JB from Cyberjaya. I didn't really feel well since before we started the journey so early in the morning. I didn't get to have breakfast, slept so late last night, I knew earlier migraine is 'on its way' attacking my head again. But nevermind, I told Ibu in the elevator when we were heading to car, "Ibuuuu, I'm hungry, please make something soupy for lunch today, teringin!" Ibu happily responsed to me saying "Okay!" of course. As I didn't feel so well, I didn't want to sit at the passenger seat next to my Dad who's driving, but then I was the one who had to sit there, and I was annoyed and irritated just because I could not feel comfortable as always (bad me, I know :( )

But then, parents being parents, always so so thoughtful. Ayah (my Dad) offered me to go buy breakfast (cos I'm hungry! And haven't had my coffee yet) at our next stop in Seremban (despite my irritating face, I think). And Ibu being Ibu, just right after I got out from car, she took my arm and excitedly said, "Balik ni Ibu buatkan Rah mihun bodo eh hehe (a very simple but so nice mihun actually)." Awhh Ibu so so cute, I felt baddd cos all the way from Cyber to Seremban, I was all annoyed cos I was the one who had to sit at the front passenger seat, annoyed at my mother cos usually she's the one who sits there. But little did I know that all the way from Cyber to Seremban just now she was thinking of what soup should she make for me since I asked from her in the elevator. Then she offered me doughnuts when we were at the Petronas convenience store when she saw Dunkin Donuts booth in it... So excited to buy breakfast for me. She bought me two Milo(s), cos the one I took from house in Cyber had no straw attached... How kind Ibu was.. Always so so caring, even the little things she does that I usually hardly notice and appreciate..

Ayah was also all the way so nice to me, yes, despite my badmood face (I know I wasn't supposed to act that way tskkkk) I thought he would annoy at me but he did not and was okay. He even kissed me goodbye before he left for work when we reached JB already and I was having a nap on bed cos was toooo tireddd. Honestly I thought my parents would get annoyed at me for my badmood face, but they didn't and even do littlest amazing things today, to take care of me, to make me feel better.

When I woke up from my long 2 hours nap right after we reached home in JB, I thought my mother hadn't prepared the 'mihun sup bodo' yet, I felt so bad because I couldn't teman her, went to nap insteaddd (urgghh but that was bcos I felt so sleepy and almost migrained). But then I checked in the kitchen, the 'mihun sup bodo' was deliciously prepared, with eggs, spinach some more, and cut chillies with keychup. All prepared as I wished from her in the elevator this morning!! I know it's really a little thing and a mother's responsibility is to feed her children, but thinking that I'm a grown up already, she still loves and cares for me as if I am still her 7-year-old princess. Not asking me to cook it by myself. Still remember when I was in kindergarten, Standard 1, Ibu taught me maths when I asked her while she's cooking! She then took me up in her arms and showed me her cooking on the stove when I finally knew how to do the maths hehe. That's Ibu, and Ayah of course, all they do for their life is devoting their life to us. :'( YaAllah.. I am so sorry for my bad thoughts just this morning..

It's more that I wanted to tell actually, this is not enough to elaborate everything in a story. But the energy I have nowww... asking me to sleep already...

But what happened today (and everyday actually), I thought, "How could I ever love someone more than I loved my parents before?" "How could I have another love relationship but my love to parents should already more than enough?" They devote everything they have for the sake of their children's happiness. No wonder Allah s.w.t. places His redha after our parents' redha. I never know what true love is until I wish to become the best daughter I could be to my parents so that anything that I pray for them would be granted by Allah s.w.t. especially for their happiness and place in Jannah with Allah s.w.t..

Then I thought again, no wonder I have always resented with failed haraam relationships with men I had before, because love is not put at the right place. When you wish to love your parents more, Allah will grant you more love than is expected for you to give them to your parents.

If it's best written by Allah s.w.t that I am not meant to get married (because my partner might already waiting in Jannah? hehe) in this dunya, I do not mind spending the rest of my life devoting my life, my all to both of my parents. I love them so much, I do not want them to be unhappy, especially if the reason is because of my stupid bad temper. My parents' happiness are my goal, I always always want them to have the best life in dunya and especially, in hereafter. yaAllah, I hope You take care of our parents alwayssss. Please please make them the happiest persons sitting next to You in Jannah. <3